Ponies' Complaints
by SurrenderedEndeavor
Summary: The ponies of Ponyville are sick of the mistakes in fanfics written about them.So they decide to have a town hall meeting to discuss their complaints.I got this idea from reading so many fanfics on this website. I'm not making fun of anyone in particular.
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello people. I had the idea for this after reading many My Little Pony fan fictions on this website. It's just kind of a funny way of me giving some of my complaints through a little story of my own. I am in no way calling out anyone, this is just very general and no one in particular is being made fun of.**_

_**This first chapter is a little short intentionally. If you like this and want to see more that are longer, then review please. Enjoy. Let it fly.**_

**The Complaints of Annoyed Ponies : Chapter 1**

_**At a town hall meeting in Ponyville, Equestria…**_

"Hey! HEY! Everyone quiet down!" the mayor shouted.

Everyone in the room was silent. All the residents of Ponyville were in attendance. Twilight Sparkle sat next to Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash was to her right. On the other side of the aisle sat Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie. They were seated at about the center of the room with all the other citizens sitting around them.

The mayor stood at the podium, trying to get the crowd quiet. "Alright ALRIGHT! Now can we get to the first order of business?" The crowd hushed up. "Now I think all of you know why we're having this meeting." More silence…

"Well I think we needed to address all the mistakes in the fan fiction put on these fan fiction websites." The mayor said.

A thunderous "YEAH!" came from the crowd.

"Alright who has the first complaint?"

"Oh! OH! Ah do mayor!" yelled Applejack.

The mayor raised one cheek, giving her a sign of approval. "Very well Applejack, you have the podium." Apple jack jumped out into the aisle and climbed the steps onto the stage, then took her place behind the podium.

"Well uh… mah first complaint is that, well, in all this fan fiction that has me and mah brother, Big Macintosh… well they just never get the accent right."

"WHATSIN' YER TALKINS BOUT' LIL' SIS !" Big Mac yelled.

Applejack curled her face in disgust. "Y'see? That's what I'm talking about. We don't actually sound like that at all. In fact the only time we had a conversation in the whole show, we sounded pretty normal… if you ask me."

"LIL SIS IS JUS' SPOUTIN' A BUNCH A HOOEY!" Big Mac yelled again as obnoxiously as he could.

"Okay big brother… you can stop that now." Applejack was obviously aggravated.

"Sorry Applejack… just havin' a little fun with that." Big Mac grinned widely. "Wait a second, I have one little complaint! How come in all of these relationship fanfics, I'm always portrayed as a sex fiend who goes around and has sex with everypony? I mean c'mon! I'm a nice hard working guy!"

Applejack knew his concern, but knew the logistics."Yes Macintosh, we know you're a nice guy but… well… Ponyville is like what… 95% female ponies? I mean we don't really have much of a choice. It's either be a lesbian or go to Big Mac, cut us some slack."

"Eh… well… okay I guess you have a point." Big Macintosh said glumly.

Rainbow Dash started speaking aloud. "Yeah that's why all the writers use me as a romantic plot device when they are too scared to use incest between you and Applejack. They don't really have much imagination."

"What about the writer who is making this fan fiction?" Twilight interjected. "Does he or she have imagination?"

"Who cares?" Rainbow Dash said. "We've already broken the fourth wall like 10 times already."

"Good point." Twilight said. "I wonder how many people reading this will have to go look up "Fourth Wall" on the internet and then come back to this page."

"Probably half." Said Fluttershy. "Which reminds me… I have a complaint!"

Applejack shifted to leave the stage. "Alright Fluttershy, you're next."

**To be continued (if it is any good) **

_**See? That wasn't too bad… right? If you liked this please let me know so I can do more that are better.**_

_**-SurrenderedEndeavor**_

_**ps. if you are a fan of Metal in Equestria (one of my other stories) I am currently writing several chapters and I haven't uploaded one in awhile and I apologize. I wanted to fix a few things with it first. Thanks! **_


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm surprised at how many reviews this got after only one day, so I wanted to publish another one as soon as possible. Thanks for your support, enjoy!_

**Complaints of Annoyed Ponies : Chapter 2**

Fluttershy walked up to the stage and took her place behind the podium as Applejack trotted back to her seat. She cleared her throat.

"Okay okay, I hope I don't sound like I'm griping but… how come people call Angel…"Angel Bunny"? That just doesn't make sense to repeat it over and over. I mean sure to introduce a character or if the person is unfamiliar with the show, but there's a good chance they know who Angel is already."

At that time Fluttershy's pet rabbit jumped on the podium. He hopped up to the microphone and audibly cleared his throat. Then he spoke in a deep, gruff, male voice.

"Yeah, can you like please cut that shit out… hopefully everyone knows who I am." The rabbit said.

"Aww… Angel do you want a carrot?" Fluttershy asked him very lovingly.

"No thanks maybe later. Y'see? She doesn't call me Angel Bunny! That's just stupid!"

The mayor chimed in. "Don't you think your complaint is a little unnecessary?"

"Oh yeah?" The rabbit said. "Well how would you like it if everyone called you "Mayor Mare" all the time instead of just "Mayor"? You'd probably be pissed too!"

Pinkie Pie leaned in close to Rarity and asked "Since when does the rabbit talk?... and why do I find his voice so appealing?"

Rarity leaned in close to Pinkie Pie " becaussssse… contrary to popular belief you aren't a lesbian and you prefer male voices. And I don't know how long he has been able to talk, it's all new to me too dear."

A random pony raised his hand. It turned out to be Doctor Whooves. "Hey hey! Over here! Yes can I just ask why some people can't get the difference between colt and filly, oh and stallion and mare? I mean it's not that hard too remember."

"Yeah!" said Rainbow, "I agree! I hate reading all these sex fanfics and then when they get to the nitty gritty they get the genders mixed up. Big Macintosh is not a mare for fuck's sake!"

"Well ah certainly hope not." Big Mac said. Everyone in the room looked at him and he started laughing. "oh haha! Ahm just pullin' your leg!" Applejack became annoyed again. "Shut up, brother." She said.

"Wait wait…" said Twilight, "do the people reading this also read those rated M romances?"

"Who cares Twilight?" Rainbow said.

"Good point… again." Twilight stammered.

"How did we get on that topic?" Angel said from the podium. "What about my complaint? Fluttershy picked him up and put him on her shoulder. "Don't worry we'll fix it, Angel."

Derpy raised a hoof. "Me next mayor!"

The mayor couldn't see who it was at first. Her eyes focused. "Okay fine Derpy, you're next."

Derpy flew out of her chair and landed on stage, then walked up to the podium. *Ahem* she cleared her throat like the others before her. "I'm not retarded and I'm not obsessed with muffins." She thought longer. "Oh! And I wait for the day when I will be a legitimate character…but so far there had been only like 2 fanfics ever where I played a major role. Otherwise it's just been me gacking out over a muffin or something stupid like that." She waited for a response from the audience.

"Oh come on! Give me a break! I may be a background pony but I deserve some damn respect. Oh, and my cutie mark isn't supposed to be bubble wrap… that was just a rumor, it's actually just bubbles."

Rarity yelled. "But bubble wrap just makes sense! Because of that episode where you were working on a mover's van!"

"Yes but bubble wrap implies that I am safe with delivering things, but I actually dropped and broke everything so bubble wrap wouldn't make sense." Derpy said, catching her breath.

"Yes we know you dropped everything." Twilight scowled.

"Oh uh… sorry Twilight." Derpy gave her a crooked smile. "Oh and one more thing! I've only been in a few romances but the guys always say they like my eyes. Well why do they like my eyes?

A faint shout came from the back of the room. No one knew who it was. "Because you can look at their penis and their face at the same time when you give em' head!"

The crowd became restless and everyone started talking.

"QUIET!" shouted the mayor. "Please quiet down!"

Derpy banged a gavel on the podium three times. Everyone quieted down. "Hey… that was uncalled for. I'm a lesbian anyways." Derpy said. She flew off the stage and took her seat again.

"Speaking of lesbians… it's my turn!" Rainbow Dash said.

**To be continued**

_**Hey thanks for the feedback guys. This was a teeny tiny bit longer than the first chapter. I know it should be longer but if I did that then they would have to take longer to publish. I like to have my ideas fresh and update sooner rather than later.**_

_**-SurrenderedEndeavor**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello peoples! Still can't believe all the reviews! They just pile up! I'm trying to make this more funny so thanks for reviews! Enjoy! I pump this out as fast as I can._

**Complaints of Annoyed Ponies: Chapter Three**

It was Rainbow Dash's turn as she took the stage.

"Alright, oh gosh…uhh… where do I start?" She thought for a second. "Okay first, I'm glad that I'm not always a lesbian in these fanfics, although mostly I am."

There was a faint yell from the back of the auditorium. "You were straight in mine!"

"Thank you! Whoever said that! But those of you who keep pairing me up with Pinkie Pie I don't understand. She's like crazy. After reading that cupcakes thing I try to stay away from her as much as possible." Said Rainbow.

"It's true!" Pinkie Pie yelled. "She almost came over to help me make those cupcakes, but then she read that fanfic. I was so close!"

"See what I mean?" Rainbow said. "She's crazy, and why would I be sexually attracted to her? I mean Applejack at least kinda makes sense."

"Awkward." mumbled Applejack.

"Are you a lesbian?" an anonymous shout came from the back of the audience.

Rainbow was panic stricken. "Well…I…uhh…haven't decided… yet?" she answered with a question. She gave an awkward crooked smile. "OKAY!YES! I'm a fricken lesbian! Are you happy now?" Rainbow was huffing and puffing her breaths.

"YES!" The crowd yelled.

"Well I hope so. But I certainly hope to see more fics where I'm straight please." Rainbow was about to leave the stage but turned around to say a few last words. "Oh… and Derpy… you should call me."

"Mommy… why does the lady say that to you?" little Dinky asked Derpy. "Because Sweety… she might be your second mommy." Derpy patted her daughter's head.

Rainbow flew over to Twilight and took her seat. "Well that went better than expected." Twilight said to her. "Yeah I know." Said Rainbow, "Although I might have to go up again, in case I forgot something."

"Who's up next?" the mayor asked.

"HEY!" yelled Trixie from one of the back rows. "Am I the only one that thinks it's weird that Derpy Hooves has a daughter even though she said she was a lesbian?"

"Shut up, Trixie." said Rainbow loud enough for Trixie to hear. "You're a lesbian too."

"That's not the point!" yelled Trixie over the audience.

Twilight stood up and turned to her. "Trixie you're lucky the writer even put you in this story. He or she didn't have to really, since you aren't actually a citizen of Ponyville."

"But Twilight… I thought you loved me." Trixie was distraught.

"Nah, those were just some stupid fanfics written months ago…come to think of it, you're just an annoying bitch." Twilight said.

Trixie sat back down, quietly.

Just then there was a great burst of light on stage. There were flashes of purple lightning and blue auras. Then it all stopped and became quiet again, except now the princesses were on stage.

Princess Celestia was the first to speak. "The writer decided to include us in this!"

Everyone cheered and clapped.

Trixie was obviously annoyed. "This story has no plot! And it makes no sense! Why are we breaking the fourth wall so much?"

"Shut up, Trixie." Said Princess Celestia.

"Do you want to go first… or me?" asked Luna.

"Eh… you can go first." Said Celestia.

Luna walked up to the podium. "That's right! I'm a legitimate character in this, bitches! So my complaint is… well… the fact that writers use the… "force that created nightmare moon" way too much as a plot device. Seriously people it's not really a mistake, it's just overused."

Another anonymous voice came from the back of the audience. "Damn it! How'd she find out?"

"It's not that hard to find people. It's like pubic hair…it's everywhere." Luna said.

Celestia leaned in close to Luna. "That was a little blunt."

"I don't care, I'm a damn princess." Luna whispered to Celestia.

Little Dinky whispered to Derpy, "Mommy? What's Pubic hair?"

"Oh sweety," said Derpy, "we don't have to worry about that because we're ponies." She patted Dinky on the head with affection.

**To be continued**

_**Have a complaint you may want to see? Just say something about it in a review and I'll expand upon it! I'll keep chugging along!**_

_**-SurrenderedEndeavor**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hello! Did you read chapter three as well? I hope so! BTW if you're a person who like to stick to a focused plot then you might want to read something else. I'm going for laughs, not plot.**_

_**Complaints of Annoyed Ponies: Chapter 4**_

Luna thought longer. "Oh and I'm glad that people actually write about me in these fanfics, that's at least more than the people who write for the show have done." She stated matter-of-factly.

"You're hot!" yelled an anonymous voice.

"Shut up, Spike." Said Luna.

"How did you know it was me?" asked Spike out loud.

"Oh please," said Luna, "we're omniscient beings, Spike… and you're hot too." She blushed.

"Mommy?" asked Dinky, "What does that big word mean?"

Derpy patted her daughter's head again. "Oh Sweety… It means she knows everything."

"You mean like the man you always talked about?" Dinky said curious.

"Yes Sweety, except he didn't know everything, he just thought he did… and that's why mommy only likes girls now."

"Okay mommy." Dinky said, satisfied.

Doctor Whooves raised his hoof again. "Hey! I don't think we expanded enough on the whole mare and stallion thing."

"You're right." Celestia spoke up. "Here it is simply. In horse terms, a mare is a woman, a stallion is a man, a filly is a girl, and a colt is a boy. There that's pretty fricken simple if you ask me, and I should know, because I'm all-knowing and stuff like that."

"Thank you!" yelled the Doctor.

"Why do you think the writer put him in this story?" asked Rainbow to Twilight.

"Because he's kind of a respectable fan-based character, and his origin actually makes sense." Twilight said.

"That sounds like the Twilight I know." Rainbow said.

"HEY!" Twilight yelled as something came to her in thought, "How come I'm always in a romance with Spike? I like the few stories where I'm in love with another girl."

"Cuz we're tired of lesbian fics!" an anonymous voice yelled.

"Not me!" the writer yelled out.

"Hey, why are you in this?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Cuz I felt like it." I said, "And you should just be glad you're my favorite character Rainbow."

"Fine whatever." Rainbow said.

"Mind if I smoke?" the writer asked the audience.

"Sure whatever." The audience said collectively.

"Oh yeah, I can do whatever I want." said the writer. "Hey Rarity, ask them about the whole two parts thing." I whispered to her.

"Oh yeah!" said Rarity. "Why am I always a boy and a girl?"

"Mommy?" asked Dinky. Derpy looked at her. "Not right now, sweety."

Luna spoke from the podium. "Because you are supposed to be the most attractive pony in Ponyville and people just want to ruin your reputation."

"Well Fuck them." Said Rarity.

"Or me!" said Spike.

"No I don't think so." Said Rarity.

Spike took out a notepad. "Note to self: Rarity is a tranny, write story." He laughed a little bit at this idea.

Pinkie Pie jumped up. "Hey everyone! So it turns out I'm not a lesbian. I like dudes!"

Big Mac looked complacent and then shrugged his shoulders. "I'd tap that." He said.

"So which of you guys wants to help me make cupcakes?" she looked around the silent room with intent.

"On second thought…" Big Mac said.

A dark black pony a row in front of Pinkie turned around. "Hey do you like the band Dope?"

"Why yes I do!" Said Pinkie gleefully.

"Sweet let's go make some cupcakes." The black stallion said. Pinkie and the black pony left through the back.

"HEY!" yelled Trixie. "There aren't bands in Equestria!"

"Shut up, Trixie." said Celestia.

The gay pony stood up."Hey Twixie! Be a dear and shut the fuck up for good. Hugs and kisses!"

"Who's the gay pony?" said Trixie.

Twilight turned to face Trixie. "He's the only gay male pony in Equestria because the writer was wondering why he or she hadn't seen one of those stories yet."

"Damn right!" The writer said, taking another drag on the cigarette. "There's all these gay girls, why not some gay dudes?"

"Are you gay?" asked Twilight.

"No missy, and you wouldn't have asked that if I didn't make you." The writer said. "and I have a girlfriend."

_**Hey people! Did you know this chapter is exactly 666 words long? How weird is that? Review if you don't mind, but you really don't have to, but it'd be appreciated!**_

_**-SurrenderedEndeavor**_


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